The Language Of Love
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THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE
What is it that happens when we do or give something
we think is special to the ones we love, only to find it
seemingly unappreciated. We feel disappointed and may
lash out saying how ungrateful the other person is. We
may feel inadequate, unappreciated, misunderstood and
even unloved. The other person probably also feels these
things and responds accordingly. The whole situation
ends up in chaos.
It may be a material gift, or something you’ve done to be
helpful or nice. It may be a comment that was intended
to uplift but instead it all goes horribly wrong.
Sound familiar? So what’s really going on?
This is something that my partner and I have taken years
to comprehend and work through. Sometimes we still get
it wrong. Being consistent with some generic male traits
my partner often sees that I need help with something,
so he immediately ‘comes to my rescue’, by doing
something he thinks will fix the situation. Although his
intentions are well meaning often the actions he chooses
are not actually what I really need and I get mad, upset
or disappointed. He then feels rejected and he also gets
upset. We both feel misunderstood. Why couldn’t he see
what I needed instead of butting in and taking over? He
asks ‘why doesn’t she want my help?’, and he concludes
‘she doesn’t need or appreciate me’ and he feels unloved.
Intentions are good on both sides and what really needs
to happen is us discovering HOW the other would like
to be helped. What gift would THEY like? Rather than
giving or acting in a way we ourselves would like. We will
get a lot further by finding out how to give to them in
their language of love.
It can be a hard lesson to learn and master but the rewards
will be well worth it.
The first and best place to start understanding the other
person’s language of love better, is simply to ask. ‘What
would YOU like?’
Merelyn Carter - Be Happy
Excerpt From Merelyn's Inspire Book* Discover your Love Language - The 5 Love Languages
* Understanding the Five Love Languages | Focus On The Family
* How The Five 'Love Languages' Can Help You Win At Relationships
Merelyn’s writing is supported in part by the sale of her
books. Autobiography - ‘The Deepest Part of Me’. ‘Inspire’ – inspirational reflections for
your life’s journey. ‘Stories behind the
Songs’ and her first children’s picture book ‘To The Moon and Back - Grandma’s
Rocket Ship Adventure’. To find out more about her work and to support her
through the purchase of her writings and music, please go to www.carterandcarter.com.au
